(Source: kanyewesticle, via fatpeoplemakemehappy)
(Source: dudeguykidbro, via odair)
His palms are sweaty, knees weak
arms spaghetti
there’s vomit on spaghetti already
mom’s spaghetti
He’s nervous, but on the surface he looks calm spaghetti
to drop bombs
but he keeps on spaghetti
(via microwavepizzaoven)
First night of work …
Girl: So where are you from?
Me: Livonia, Frisco
Girl: Really, it’s weird that I’ve never met you before. Where’d you go to school?
Me: 20 years.
Girl: …
Me: …
Me: Homeschool.
Girl: …
She wasn’t from tumblr, either. So she didn’t understand that the conversation was not taking the route I had played out in my mind.
(Source: ellengifs, via i-was-pooping-when-i)




